Deep Editing Analyses

Stephen White, DEAD TIME

Stephen White, the NYT bestselling author of 16 Alan Gregory novels, writes like he’s an expert on understanding nonverbal communication and emotion.  He is.  He’s a psychologist.

There’s no better place to find stellar examples of empowering emotion and nonverbal communication than from a psychologist who writes about a psychologist.  His protagonist, Alan Gregory, is as intuitive about interpreting nonverbals as the author who created him.

Enjoy these examples from Stephen White’s recent release, DEAD TIME:  Cliché Twist, Epistrophe, Simile, Paralanguage Simile, Eye Message, and a Visceral Response. 

P. 141   Cliché Twist:  Where sexual indiscretion was concerned, Sam felt he was the blackest pot on the earth, and he was not about to disparage anyone else’s charred kettle.

P. 93   Epistrophe:  “Because you’ll see something I won’t see.  You’ll see something her sister won’t see.  You may well see something the cop won’t see.” 

P. 113   Simile:   Bad habits with my ex-wife kept surfacing like a beach ball I was trying to hold underwater. 

P. 156   Paralanguage Simile:  “Listen,” he said in a voice that cut off the small talk the way a sharp knife takes the top off a banana.  “I need a favor.  A big . . .favor.”

P. 186   Eyes:  Hector’s eyes locked on mine and restrained me like a pair of handcuffs.

P. 342  Visceral Response:  Another chill skittered across the wide flesh on my back.  It felt like a terrified cluster of semi-frozen bugs running for their lives.

Fresh writing!  I’ll dig deeper into the visceral example.  Stephen White could have written: 

A chill skittered across my back. 

We’ve read that line, or variations, hundreds of times.  Stephen wrote his line fresh.  He amplified, specified, threw in a terrified cluster of semi-frozen bugs – and had fun writing that line.  I’m betting the readers have fun reading it too.

In DEAD TIME, Stephen White adds power with a variety of rhetorical devices including anaphora, epistrophe, similes, metaphors and litotes.  Those are five of the twenty-five rhetorical devices I cover in Deep Editing:  The EDITS System, Rhetorical Devices, and More.  That on-line course is offered in May through Writer University. 

Stephen White’s books are stellar reads.  His placement on the New York Times bestseller list, well-deserved. 

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